Self-Defense

Next step to becoming the best Laura I can be....


The first step to self-defense is to take care of one's own body. The knife can be used as a weapon to defend oneself against an ill-doing oncoming, however it is also a tool used in the kitchen. By taking care of one's own body through nurishment, both physically and mentally, one is preparing against the evils of the world that will always exist. I one time felt extremely good about myself but feared another outside force getting ready to knock me down. A good friend told me that as long as I remember what I love and continue to love those things I will always triumph. No outside force can win, when I am taking care of my own well being.

Bradley Sculpture Garden

I met someone, sometime ago who only saw one color. It was chrome. Everything in the world is a reflection of himself.


Sometimes I think the same goes for myself.

Wall of Beer Postcards

Last summer I started making postcards. I made handmade ones that I sold at Koppa's but I also had a printer mass print these ones of "The Wall of Beer." I am selling packs of twelve for only $5. Hi-Fi Cafe in Bayview has them in their postcard rack. Contact me if you would like a pack.

To Be Close to a Large Body of Water

Geometric Landscapes

I've been playing with geometric perspective since my father let me borrow his camera. These two pictures excite me to no end. There is a quality to them that is different than just breaking up space. It's as though the world just presented itself to me in the way I've been attempting to alter it. I will find more spaces that present themselves to me in this geometric orderly way.

Backwards and Unfinished

Below is my project that I have invested a lot of thought and action on. More shots and contempations are to come. There is a to-act list on my desk, time and place just need to be ideal and then we can talk about a photo that exists. For my own travels sake, the journey begins at the bottom and I will continue to work on it over time. I would like to live to my fullest potential, yet sometimes things within myself get me down and through the photographic process I am confronting my little hardships.

Fulfill Self

I desire others to fulfill roles that only I can complete. I've come to realize that the I need to look out for myself and not to put that responsibility one others. Even the person who will love me no matter what I do, my mother, can not always be what I need her to be when I need it. The first step is to take care of myself, before I try to take care of others or let others take try to take care of me. With the right mindset, I can fulfill every one of my needs.

Never Lonesome

It's seems like I always miss people when their around and claim never to be lonesome when I'm by myself (Thank you Modest Mouse for putting that feeling into words.) I desire companionship, but when it's there I'm never satisfied. Back into the woods by myself I venture and wonder if it's better to be alone and dream about what could be or stick to someone and see it through. Maybe all the time I spend alone dreaming is ruining my chances for meaningful relationships. Often times I will call my friends to hang out but back out at the last minute because sometimes the outside world is just too scary. Other times I want to be alone, but go out thinking my dreaming will become reality but any reality compared to my fantasy is a big let down. In the woods I wil stay alone contemplating how to break this cycle I seem to find myself in.

Burn or Accept

I think it's strong to run from the pain that resurfaces instead of face it. I am starting to think maybe this not the best idea anymore. The more I run, the more these feelings I stuff deep inside kick me in the butt later. While it may help to burn letters and pictures to move on, it is not a healthy getting on. Again back to confronting myself--traveling inward to fix outward problems. Why is it that that past can have such a strong impact on the present moment? Acceptance of the people who have touched and shaped me could be the answer. Accept and move on instead of burn and move on. Never forget how you got to this moment.

Time Traveler

My weakest moments happen when my mind doesn't stay put in the present. Normally, days from the past are remembered only by the high points. Nothing can top the high points of days gone past that only exist in my memory. However, this makes the present moment unable to compete with the narrative of good memory. And on the opposite end of the spectrum are the moments when I realize that the past wasn't as joyous and beautiful as I remember. Everyone makes mistakes, and although I am gradually transforming, I find myself in the same situations. An event in the past is triggered by a moment in the present and all the feelings associated with those not so happy times send me into ample feelings of low self-esteem. It's as though I am bound and determined never to stay in the present moment and simply content with what I have become.

Bad Options

The easy way does not always look so sweet. However, it is hard to tell what is exactly at the end of the difficult road. Is the option better to pick up seemingly good things that present themselves to you or chase after something not knowing if it's better or worse. Desire lays in the chase. Suffering is caused by desire. My hero is stuck in the middle of accepting what is within grasp and has a good apperance, or chasing after the unknown desire that may not be worth the effort.

Delusion

There are always times when what is infront of you, is not the same as you think it is inside your head. In a previous life she was diagnosed with an overactive imagination. That is simply the thing that happens when one is left alone with only one's own thoughts for too long. As she grew up, she fell victim to others because of her own fantasies of what and who they were. Now she must figure out if the person infront of her really is who she thinks it is or simply another figment of her own imagination.

Transformation

While I thought that a single moment could be a moment of change, I have since discovered that transformation is always a work in process. This image, like any moment, is not a shift in being but a shift is thinking. A separation from my actual self and a transformation into a character who will battle my obstacles. My character wandered into a forest discovered that she had bear-like characteristics. One time it was told that a bear is a solitary creature, but when the food is plentiful it shares. A token is given to her from a bear, and she will always be strong.