Never Lonesome

It's seems like I always miss people when their around and claim never to be lonesome when I'm by myself (Thank you Modest Mouse for putting that feeling into words.) I desire companionship, but when it's there I'm never satisfied. Back into the woods by myself I venture and wonder if it's better to be alone and dream about what could be or stick to someone and see it through. Maybe all the time I spend alone dreaming is ruining my chances for meaningful relationships. Often times I will call my friends to hang out but back out at the last minute because sometimes the outside world is just too scary. Other times I want to be alone, but go out thinking my dreaming will become reality but any reality compared to my fantasy is a big let down. In the woods I wil stay alone contemplating how to break this cycle I seem to find myself in.